Christmas has come and gone. Thankfully with it was far less greetings cards than before. Instead, places like Facebook, Twitter, or heck – good old fashioned email seem to be taking over. Some places even offer a service to craft your own cards online and have them posted, but that is besides the point. This rant isn’t even based on the usual “greetings cards are simply a money-making scheme for Hallmark”, etc.
The message behind greetings cards is that they are supposed to be a welcome gesture of thought – a demonstration that the sender has thought of your current situation. Instead, they seem to be used as weapons of guilt against each other. Two common examples:
- Person A: “Person B didn’t send my a card this year, how dare he. No way am I giving him a card.”
- Person A: “I sent a card to person B, but he didn’t write one back for my birthday. He can forget it in future.”
The above two scenarios are often bolstered by a rant to someone else in the group of people who know each other, as if there is some blatant point-scoring attempt. Suddenly, because person B didn’t write a card to person A, the entire group has to sit through a rant of how disgusting person B is. Some of them also “join forces” and refuse to send person B a card. Suddenly, cards are not a gesture of good will, but a weapon of bad feeling. One which, pathetically, causes some people to go on and on about it for weeks.
Let’s look at things in perspective. A card is a thick piece of paper, with some seasonal image or humour, with a pre-written message inside. The person buying the card just writes who it is to, and who it is from. They pop it in an envelope and off it goes. The other person recieves the card, takes a 10 second glance and decides that that person is getting a card in return, and pops it on the mantle piece. Both people are essentially trading small change, and often do not even speak to each other. If they do meet for the occasion, then the entire point of the card seems wasted when they can simply wish a happy birthday in person – after all, isn’t the social interaction, and the time taken to visit the person more important than “simply popping a card in the post?”
One of the rants is that “all person B has to do is buy a bloody card and write his name!”. Again, what is so special about that?
Now for the most disgusting situation. I saw a friend spend ages drawing her own, personally crafted card. She spent HOURS on it. Those of us with sense would realise immediately, that she was giving some serious thought to the person to dedicate so much time into it. The person who received it said “heh, she was too cheap to buy a card”. So, a £1.45 card is somehow worth more than a few hours of someones time? Also consider the fact that she was behind on her assignments – easily, even one hour of her time was an absolute premium. That situation left the most disgusting taste in my mouth.
Now take Christmas. Some people still go through the lengthy task of filling out 50 or so cards to people they know. The usual “to {someone}, from {me}. A few hours used on a cheap 100 pack of cards. Again, where is the special moment in that? Especially when it is backed up with “I still have to write out those damn cards. Suddenly it’s a chore – one people seem to do only to conform with tradition. One which is thankfully on its way out.
I am lucky enough to be in a circle of friends who also wouldn’t, for the life of them, consider buying a card. People who, if they receive one, would leave it laying around somewhere until the event was over, and then throw it away. I don’t care if I get “only” three cards for my birthday, because the only thing I remember about it is the gathering of people who turned up. The cards however, go back to be recycled.
The other day, I actually got rid of a stack of old cards from my 17th birthday. The sarcastic reaction of someone nearby was “oh, you’re sentimental’. This was from someone who I have never ever witnessed, look back through old cards – instead just keeping them there as if there is some air of guilt if they dare to get rid of them. Personally I don’t look back and care who gave me a card.
So, to summarise, don’t waste your time, at least at my expense. You will NOT receive a card from me, because my ONLY memory of them, thanks in part to decades of point scoring between other people, is that they are just a social “one-upmanship” tool. I refuse to have any part in them whatsoever. Of course, your milage may vary, but no thanks. Do something more worthwhile with the potentially £3 you could have spent, and instead, try phoning the person, and not just fob them off with a quick “from me” on thick paper.